This was too good not to post.   Perry Noble is right on target.  To read more of Perry go to  www.perrynoble.com

How To Make Sure Your Church Is Boring! January 13, 2010

I know some people do not agree with me…but I FIRMLY believe that church should not be a boring place…because…

• The Bible is NOT boring–the teachings of God’s Word are more relevant and exciting that anything on the planet.
• Jesus was NOT boring – to see His life lived out in the Scriptures AND to see WHO HE IS should inspire AWE, not apathy!
• Our message is NOT boring – Jesus was DEAD, came BACK TO LIFE and offers us the same opportunity, to cross over from death to life and be reconciled to God–THAT’S FREAKIN AWESOME!!!
• The Book of Acts is NOT boring – there is NOWHERE in the book of Acts that ritual replaced relationship!

If the tomb is empty, Jesus is alive and HOPE is possible then HIS church should reflect that.

BUT…if you want to make sure your church is boring, here are Eight Simple Steps…

#1 – There has GOT to be apathetic leadership – Seriously, the leaders in the church MUST be obsessed with not rocking the boat and pursuing personal comfort!

#2 – There CANNOT be a desire to reach people far from God! Seriously, new birth can bring excitement to a church, which is NOT what people in pursuit of boredom desire.  SO…don’t focus on the Gospel…instead teach lots of history lessons and talk about things that very few people actually care about.  This will keep people far from God away from your group of people, thus not messing up the chemistry in your holy huddle.  WHATEVER you do…DO NOT talk about the Gospel…it changes people!!!

#3 – DO NOT call for ANY type of commitment from ANYONE–EVER! People MUST be allowed to come and go as they please…and must NEVER be made to feel uncomfortable under any type of circumstances.  If people begin responding to God it will increase the excitement level, which cannot happen in a boring place.

#4 – Always be predictable. Do the same songs at the same times, pray the same prayers and make SURE that people can look at their watch at any point in the service and know exactly what’s coming next.

#5 – Make excuses when things are done poorly! WHATEVER you do…do NOT address the obvious issues that are right under your nose.  In fact, if you will simply criticize any church or ministry that IS seeing success it will take the attention off of your dysfunction and allow you to maintain the current state of your church.

#6 – PLEASE make sure not to make ANY type of references to culture in your church services. If you want to have a boring church then you’ve GOT to make people believe that the lives they live Monday through Saturday and then the life they live on Sunday are two separate things.  You cannot teach that Scripture speaks to culture…because if people begin making that connection then they will begin to experience what Jesus promised in John 10:10!

#7 – You’ve GOT to allow people to pretend that their lives are perfect! Seriously, if someone has a problem then you must either put them out of your church OR tell them to act as if they are perfect.  If people begin to bring their junk to your church and Jesus begins to help them work through it and they get delivered from it…your church cannot maintain its boring status.

#8 – You MUST focus on the external and NOT the internal. Make the way people dress the MOST important issue…and the way they LIVE a non-issue!!!

One week out of the year groups gather at different times for different events and the seasonal question comes out;  “What are you thankful for?”   My answer never changes and it never gets old stating it.  I am very thankful for my family.  Almost weekly I counsel families that are separating or struggling.  It breaks my heart to see so many families disintegrate.  Each time I finish a counseling session I am very thankful for my family.  I am blessed beyond what I deserve.  The three “American Girl Dolls” that God has blessed Rana and I with are the most special blessing.  My girls are fully engaged in life. They love ministry. They love helping others and seldom have to be asked to serve.  They love dance and they love life. Our family laughs a lot and consequently we live life a lot.  One thing I can count on is my family.  When I come home they are ready to greet me.  When we are at home as a family we have a blast.  As a family we are very thankful for all that God has done for us.   I truly am very thankful for the blessing of a family.  Of all the things that make me most happy it would be the four girls in my life.  

Thank you God for Rana, Raeli, Rianna, and Riah.

Spiritual leaders face two challenges. First, they must clearly identify God’s agenda for their people.  As a pastor I do not believe that I bring the vision to the church.  The church is the bride of Christ and He has the vision of what He wants for the bride.  As a pastor I am to pray for that “image” to be revealed to me so that I may share it with the congregation.  If the people do not understand God’s will and if they are unable to hear the plan then they are forced to generate their own vision and hope that it pleases God.   The Bible affirms this, “Where there is no vision, the people perish”  Proverbs 29:18.   The success of the church depends entirely upon the people hearing from God.   The second challenge a spiritual leader faces is knowing how to move people toward the vision.  To know where your people ought to be and yet to be unable to get them there is one of the most frustrating experiences leaders endure.  Joshua knew exactly what God required.  How to accomplish this was something altogether different.  Moses was unable to accomplish it. What made Joshua think he could?  Joshua, however, was successful.  The people followed him.  A quick bullet examination of Joshua’s life will shed light on how he influenced the people to follow after God’s plan.

- Joshua was accessible.  Joshua led from amidst the ranks.

- Joshua remained confident.  Confidence is a must for an effective leader.

- Joshua remained trustworthy.  Almost anyone can obtain a leadership position.  Only the leader who leads with character and integrity earns the respect of his followers.

- Joshua influenced his family.  Joshua 24:15 says it all.  Joshua was first a man of integrity in his own house.

- Joshua had influence with God.  By far Joshua’s greatest strength was found in his personal relationship with God.  Joshua led with God’s hand on his life.

- Joshua moved people toward God.  Before each battle encounter Joshua took time for holiness.  In many cases it did not make sense to worship before warfare.  Joshua understood that the holiness of the people was their battle readiness.  It’s wasn’t a program the people needed. The people needed the presence of God.

In the end Joshua was successful because He honored God.  God will bless those who honor Him. In order to have influence a leader must be under the influence, Ephesians 5:18.